Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Live Music Rants

Maybe it is because my computer's motherboard is busted or maybe it's because I have not seen enough live music lately, but I must share another rant. It is a rant disguised as praise for an up-and-coming awesome singer in Vermont. That would be Myra Flynn - and we're talking diva material here. Check her out on her My Space - or better yet keep an ear out to watch her live. You can also stay updated with her activities and performances on her blog - Idol Time.

The following post is a rant directly from Myra but which I sympathize with completely and I believe most of my readers will as well so I felt the need to share - check it:

The Seven Deadly Sins of Concert Etiquette

#1 Cell phones are not lighters ... or cameras

If you have replaced the soft glow of a lighter with the iridescent glow of your cell phone, you are officially on my list. You are never going to get a decent camera shot, movie clip, or sound sample with a cell phone. The best thing you can get out of a cell phone is a phone call, and I don’t even have the energy to explain the annoyance of the person holding the phone up to the show shouting, “Can you hear them?! They rock. Wait, can you hear them now?!?” Here’s a tip: Either buy the equipment to actually translate your experience or leave the phone at home. Some of us go out to shows to...oh, I don’t know, listen to music!

#2 Outlandish dancing during inappropriate times

Believe me, I grew up in the days when throwing your musically charged body into a ring of people with their fists and feet awaiting the chance to pummel you was a cool thing. I have nothing against moshing, head banging and other forms of gyrating, but when you are attempting to start a mosh pit at an Anais Mitchell concert, that’s when I have beef. It’s a folk show! Stop head banging, people don’t want to eat your hair. Yet there is always that one person who drinks too many beers and cannot even begin to comprehend moving to music without flailing around in complete disregard for people’s personal space

#3 Hey, do you know how to play “Free Bird”?

This sin comes from being a musician. My band plays soul music and although it’s obvious that we have a clear and organized set list arranged, we can’t seem to transition from one song to the other without someone shouting out their favorite Stevie Wonder or Al Green tune. First of all, not all soul music consists of singers like these two and all rock musicians do not know “Free Bird.” Secondly, the band did not ask to take requests. Unless you’re at a wedding, let the band take you on whatever ride they want. If this is a problem, there are plenty of dive bars with jukeboxes. All you need is a quarter and you can shout requests to your heart’s content.

#4 Story Telling

“Dude, I was at a (fill in the blank) show last fall and it kind of reminds me of (fill in the blank) except the guitar player is taller with better sideburns but, man, can he ever wail, it’s almost like whoa! How does he do it? But I know how he does it because I have a buddy in Texas who can rock pretty hard, he wanted me to be in his band but I was like way too musically above them to play in some crap band so instead of flying out there to audition I exchanged my plane tickets for these concert tickets and here I am! Rockin!” Need I say more?

#5 Push and Shove

Seriously, why can’t most people just accept their place in a crowd? Yes, the guy next to you is holding up his cell phone and the girl next to you is trying to start a mosh pit, but if you think the solution is shoving your way towards the front, you are wrong. Awaiting your arrival at the front is another guy with a cell phone and another girl starting a mosh pit. In between your travels, however, you have managed to upset four or five strangers who are now ready to grab you by the back of your shirt and yank you back to your appropriate position.

#6 Heckling? Really?

I’ll never understand those who yell “Boo” at concerts. If you are at the concert, that means you bought the tickets. What’s the issue? Unless that band has all of sudden decided to launch flaming balls of fire into the audience (although I realize that this is a standard for some bands) then why the need to shout at them? You’re not at a “Night at the Apollo” where heckling is not only accepted but encouraged, you’re watching groups of people bare their souls on stage. Even if you don’t like their music, booing them is unlikely to make it better. I suggest that if you need a place to vent your musical frustrations, try becoming a columnist for a newspaper and write one called “The Seven Deadly Sins of Band Etiquette.” It’s very refreshing.

#7 Smoking

I don’t think I ever realized how poisonous cigarettes really are until I spent four hours at an Erykah Badu concert in Montreal, inhaling more second hand smoke than I could handle. Almost everybody my age in Montreal seems to be a smoker and regardless of the venue, they continue to puff away. The first two hours weren’t so bad. After that, I began coughing and clearing my throat. By the time I walked out of there my hair was dry and brittle, my skin felt the same and my glands were swollen. I’m not usually one to tell people they can’t smoke, but in an atmosphere where there is already so little oxygen to go around it’s almost selfish to steal the rest.

(as seen in The Burlington Free Press on Myra's Blog - Idol Time with Myra.)


Emo Scene Layouts said...

lol straneg enough just 2 hours back . My motherboard got burnt .

Bryan said...

This can't have effect in reality, that's what I think.
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